| I kept trying trying to forget about this person. I still dont understand why that person is still stuck in my mind lately.. That person hurt me a lot, stabbed, twisted, ripped my heart and still didnt really apologize about that. That person only apologize for the actions. But why that person didnt apologize for hurting me like that. I was there, listened, protected, and everything for that person.. I told that person that we are no longer bestfriends like we used to. We can be simply friends. but I feel that I did made a mistake by telling that person that we can be simply friends. I feel that its time for me to close her out of my life for good. Is it right move for me to do that? I am waiting for that person to send something to me that I really want then I will shut that person out for good. But will it do me any good?? My sis told me that we should sit down and talk about it. But I know how can it help? Cuz I know that person sooooo well! That person dont really care! Only think about herself/himself. That person is not kind that would be sympathy for feelings or thoughts. I told that person many many times about feelings throughout friendship we had. I gave advices to think about others' feelings, be careful how they treat, etc. That person would roll her eyes on me, or just nodding n say I am right but does that person ever think about that? No.. That person dont really do that.. So, how can I talk to that person again, tell how I feel, etc AGAIN?? Dont get wrong idea.. That person is good, fun to be with, etc. I dont, cant talk bad about that person. I still care about that person deeply in my heart but sadly that person still hurt me. That person thought that I am fine. But I am not.. Actually I am really fine cuz I have my family and good friends there for me. But once I think or see that person, it hurts so much. Sadly that my anger toward that person was growing. Thank for for the journal that I can write and express. I wrote a lot anger on it. I feel way much better.. Plus I see the quote "when anger rises, think of the consequences" so its good thing that i have a journal! But still, when I see that person's name on facebook or see the pictures of her, my heart aches. :( I kept telling myself that that person is definitely not good friend to be hang out, talk to, listen to, etc. It was not first time that person did that to me. We were bestfriends for 9 years. That person hurts me so badly like 3 times in 9 years and now its 4th time that peson did that to me. This summer was supposed to be our 10th years of bestfriendship. I actually thought that we will grow old together, talk to our grandkids about our experiences together cuz we had so much fun together lately. But nope its not happening at all. So.. Guess that that person was only good for me in my single life. I am all settled down.. I am not same as before, I am a mother and soon to be wife. By the way, that person almost made me give up to be good friend.. I felt like I dont want to be anyone's friend anymore. I wasted my time to be good friend, give advices, listen to them, etc.. I feel like its a waste of my time to show them how good friend I am. I always care about my friends then one person did that to me and I see that person affected another person too, they distanced me away. So, I decided to just shut down as friend. Just focus on my family only.. Then I noticed that another friends still come to me, talk to me, etc.. Especially one girl, shes really good friend of mine, once I saw her, she changed me back. We started to talk more. She called me, asked me for advices, etc.. I realized that I made a mistake.. I let only one person affecting me. I cant believe that I let her affecting me like that.. I thank to that girl opening my eyes that I can still be good friend to others.. That person's loss for losing me, that person KNOWS that I was there for her, etc and just dropped me out like I am nobody to her. Fine with me.. I have another friends that are being true to me. I love to be there for my friends, I love to help them out, give them advices, listen to them, etc.I love to do that.. Sorry, its LONG blog I ever wrote!! Now I feel better to get it out on this blog  So, if u have any advices to give me. I am open to hear anything! |
! BOT finallllyyyyy decided to TERMINATE Jane Fernandes!! Yes yes our wishes finally came true!!! About a time that they finally listened to our "voices"!! We all re damn thrilled!!! We all can go back to normal lives and everyone can go back to their classes and bring all of our smiles coming out.. No more frustrations, anger, etc that for us to fight over for our rights about our leadership!! FINALLY!!!! I will post the blogs whats going on that happened at Gallaudet.. Right now, I couldnt cuz there are many going on that I could not catch up cuz I am too thrilled to hear that Jane Fernandes is actuaally OUT OUT OUT!!!!!! I am trying to keep tracking with those blogs since my cpu is out and my work cpu wont let me use myspace or xanga,, grrrrr but I promise you that I will find a time to post the blog about her out out out out of president! I know that there is ONE girl in my list that keep tracking of my blogs! CINDY!! I promise you.. I will find a time for you to catch up..... but but but you can catch up by looking at 
